The Life

I totally living in my life. I chill a lot, 

out with friends, with my family, school, sleep, fitness. no worries no problems.

It like I don't have "problem" with my life at all, just think positive. It good. I will just show you some pictures. 

 

And yes, if you see a person who laying down and sleeping, its me. I like to sleep a lot. 

But if not me, well I'm probably around some places and are totally hyper.

 

I'm more into private party, you won't see me a lot at the town. 

So all this pictures telling what I'm doing in my life, well probably not all showing on pictures but some of it anyway. 

Saturday/30.08.14

What a little bit boring weekend I have, well I'm sick today anyway. Just been home all day long alone, while mom was out or she was at the work and have something there. The only thing I did at home was watched series and cried to death because of sadness and happiness. I'm so corny when is become romantic and drama series! haha. It's is the only thing, I can do while I'm sick and also written in my dear diary(the book). So weird to read what I wrote before, all start with love life till worse life ever but now it getting better, I guess. Just think positive mind and take the negative away. So I have been doing that for an while now. 

waiting..

2 days more, mama is coming home and i'm here at friday night, sitting at home while my friends

going to town or whatever they going to do. I will just watch a movie alone. see yea!

Whatelsetodo

Nothing to do! I'm home alone almost for 1 month without mom. 

Now I really want her home, it getting more bored and its so silent at home.

This little guy.

Oh my! I will miss this little guy, his parents is coming home at sunday. Waking up by him and walking out with him morning/night. It will be totally loneliness at home, nobody is with me :( and thx to be my dog for 2-3 weeks. Mom will be home about 2 weeks and is sad that bigbro doesn't live at home anymore. 

That face tho!

Tuesday.

"I woke up like this" kidding. Rainy day, there is nothing to do and finally my Malleboobs is back

from vacation. There will be girls night at my place soon. Now all my girls is here. HAPPY FACE!

Cottage with friends

oh god, I didn't had a plan at all this summer but some of my friends came to my place and pick me up. 

They told me to pack some of my clothes and stuff. I was like wtf, where the hell are we going, they was like we going to cottage and the beach! we was there only 3 days but danm, i got more brown. Nigga as hell.

Sunshine in my eyes

  

It's just a day, where i feel good and just wanted to take a selfieday. Smiling to the camera while,

I listing to music loud and chilling around the house. 

 

1month

Guess who going to have the house for 1 month, of course me. I don't know why i said no to go with my mom to Philippine, this time. I guess i want to be alone, i mean like alone alone well i have the dog with me so. It will be quiet, no yelling or altercation. I need that !

yes, please..

I finally got the home for myself for the weekend, no mom no brother but i have the dog with me.

I didnt makes any plans for the weekends, so no party at all or friends coming by and plus that im sick with my allergy. :/ 

Get a life .!.

Wow, you really don't have a life I see. Grown up boy, no really grown up! it's none of your fucking business, who I talking to! And use your brain like you always do!

Stop doing your thing, you know as well I will get the words and I'm not that stupid.

If you really have nothing to do, so talk about your new girl and not me! Leave me alone cause 

I leaved you alone for long time ago, when I find out that you already found one. 

And is not a surprise, I knew it so well! You are that guy who doesn't know how to be 

single or stay clean! And please not play hard asshole, go to your girl and take care of her. 

And stop using your player when you are out at the town. I serious don't give a fuck about you! 

I'm done.  And if you are really done, so stop doing whatever you do right now.  Damn you are that guy I very hate so much! 

Memories with lovely people

This past months, where i enjoy the life time and forget a little bit the past. I'm only a teenager one time, in my life. So why not, just to enjoy it. I took the emotions away. good a idea aah ;) 

There will come more pics soon.

Its was so danm easy for me to forget about you a little bit when you wasn't around this town, but after hearing about you are back. I was thinking like "not again" i wish, you didnt lived here in the same town and i wont get down, seeing you around here. I finally got the happy mood but why the hell, im not happy now when you are back.. i just need to move on more!! 

Everything so different..

If I looked back for 1 years ago and how i see it now, its so different. If i didnt move to that idiot school.. Everything will look different now cause it started there at school. Well yes, i kind of liked the school there but is not the same as a normal school.. People didnt give a fuck about the teacher, they do whatever they wanted to do. its was fun but hey, i didnt learn a thing over there. Just fun and destroy your fucking life. I met few people, who i can have fun with but i didnt do everything, what they do. cause i wasnt that type but slowly it change me. im out all the time, i mean like party, get drunk and trouble. But now, i get tired of that shit. I had tried it now and see how it is to fuck your life. well i wont say that my life is so fucked up. But slowly it will fuck up so bad, if i dont stop doing what i do. I do get drunk and go the party but i dont do that all the time at the weekend. but now i have chance to do that cause i dont have nobody to tell me, "dont go out all the time" cause im old in enough to do whatever i want. but still, i know where i should stop and take a break. And it will be always like that. 

But the one thing, i very liked that school is that i met a perfect guy, who wasnt really my type, he was different person. Everything was different about him and there was something i couldnt stop looking at him and one thing more, he was a little bit creepy when he looked at me. But i kind of liked it, and it took long time to like him. I'm kind that person take it slowly and i did but after i was with him all the time after school. that break it out, i very like him and i never felt like that before, i had exboyfriends before but this kind of feeling, i never had. And one day i just gave everything to him, my soul EVERYTHING and i was happy for that. One thing i reeeaally liked was his perfume, i fall in love over and over again when i smell it. That was the first time, we was out and i could smell that perfume and its very gooood.. and if i smell it from someone, it will always remind me of him. But now we not together anymore and that break me down. i miss how we talked to each other, laying down, cuddle, hugged as hell, kissede, holding hand to hand, fight for fun, laughing ect. i really miss that so bad and he was the only guy i really wanted and love so much. Now i lost him and if i see him around some place, i need look happy so he cant see that im down. i just need to fake my smile and to look everything will be okay when is not. I really need him right now but he already move on. its hard to see that he move on but there is nothing, i can do. he choose the way, he wanted and he got it.

Everything make me scared now. I dont even want to go out alone anymore or just walk a alone. It scared when I heard about a story and it makes me insecure to go out but I dont want a lot of people around me. I dont even think about when i go out at the middle of the night for a walk. Many thing can happen to me at the night but that way i didnt think cause i have already many stuff to think....... 

Losing yourself.

Did you ever felt so disgusting and want to just give up for everything, you've been through?
And dont even care what you're doing into your body and just want hurt yourself. Till the end, you dont feel a pain at all.. You just continue whatever you doing. But there is always a way you can go to, and some people always taking the wrong way cause they think is the best for them. They doesnt hurting themself for fun, there is always a story behind them even they tried to tell the story to someone and they can see, that person dont get it but you still continue telling. After you go to the other room or go home, the only thing you do is go the kitchen and find a glass and destroy it and do your thing. You sitting and thinking how much you hate your life and dont even wanted to live in this world. All you wanted to be gone and dont wanted feel pain anymore. And yes pain changes people so much and losing the self confident, never gonna let someone close to you cause you're afraid to lose them again. It will be hard to give yourself to someone after you have been through.