If I looked back for 1 years ago and how i see it now, its so different. If i didnt move to that idiot school.. Everything will look different now cause it started there at school. Well yes, i kind of liked the school there but is not the same as a normal school.. People didnt give a fuck about the teacher, they do whatever they wanted to do. its was fun but hey, i didnt learn a thing over there. Just fun and destroy your fucking life. I met few people, who i can have fun with but i didnt do everything, what they do. cause i wasnt that type but slowly it change me. im out all the time, i mean like party, get drunk and trouble. But now, i get tired of that shit. I had tried it now and see how it is to fuck your life. well i wont say that my life is so fucked up. But slowly it will fuck up so bad, if i dont stop doing what i do. I do get drunk and go the party but i dont do that all the time at the weekend. but now i have chance to do that cause i dont have nobody to tell me, "dont go out all the time" cause im old in enough to do whatever i want. but still, i know where i should stop and take a break. And it will be always like that.
But the one thing, i very liked that school is that i met a perfect guy, who wasnt really my type, he was different person. Everything was different about him and there was something i couldnt stop looking at him and one thing more, he was a little bit creepy when he looked at me. But i kind of liked it, and it took long time to like him. I'm kind that person take it slowly and i did but after i was with him all the time after school. that break it out, i very like him and i never felt like that before, i had exboyfriends before but this kind of feeling, i never had. And one day i just gave everything to him, my soul EVERYTHING and i was happy for that. One thing i reeeaally liked was his perfume, i fall in love over and over again when i smell it. That was the first time, we was out and i could smell that perfume and its very gooood.. and if i smell it from someone, it will always remind me of him. But now we not together anymore and that break me down. i miss how we talked to each other, laying down, cuddle, hugged as hell, kissede, holding hand to hand, fight for fun, laughing ect. i really miss that so bad and he was the only guy i really wanted and love so much. Now i lost him and if i see him around some place, i need look happy so he cant see that im down. i just need to fake my smile and to look everything will be okay when is not. I really need him right now but he already move on. its hard to see that he move on but there is nothing, i can do. he choose the way, he wanted and he got it.
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